On June 8th, 2014 a crime of a staggering proportion was committed right here in our own city; a crime so clever, so devious that only one entity could be guilty of it. This entity has surprising power, endless funding and are capable of doing unspeakable things to get their way.

I propose to you Giants’ fans that sometime between the dark hours of June 8th and the sunrise of June 9th this insidious entity replaced our championship-caliber Giants with a group of guys who no longer seem to know how to win a baseball game. What other explanation can there be??

How did this insidious entity do it, you ask? Our G-men all look the same. Posey still has his adorable baby face, Pablo continues walk, talk and look like The Panda, Pence still looks like an over-excited Irish Setter at the plate, Crawford still makes sparkling plays at shortstop and our starting pitching has weathered a rough patch and are now pitching like champs.

That is the beauty of it! This insidious entity got to nearly every player and hypnotized them. The powerful suggestions went something like this:

When there is a leadoff man on first, you will hit into a double play; Two-out clutch hitting is no longer possible… for ANY of you; Bullpen – you will blow the lead every time; Hitters – once you are behind, you will NOT come back.

Still not convinced? Well perhaps when the identity of this insidious entity is known you will change your mind. Think about it. Who has motive? Who has means? Who has opportunity? THE DODGERS!

Yes. To no one’s surprise this insidious entity is the dreaded Dodgers. Can you imagine their panic when the Giants were up nearly 10 games two months into the season? “No!”, they shrieked, “We have spent $250 million dollars and we STILL cannot beat the Giants? No! We will do whatever it takes.”

Failure is not an option. And they are making sure that it is also not a reality.